Volume III, Issue 3, Page 23
With John Carollo

I’m one of you. Long before my first article or big name interview and for as long as I can remember, I’ve been a stock car fan. So for that reason, my name doesn’t matter and neither does my photo. It’s more like we’re just sitting here in the grandstand before the race, talking about Chevys and NASCAR. Hey, you want a cold one? --JC

Are We Spoiled?

It’s a stone cold bitch being spoiled. The killer 2007 season Chevy had looked like Mopar and had Ford barely phoned in their racing programs and Chevy done walked away with the whole store. So it was easy as pie to get spoiled. Now we got this year and the Ford and Dodge freaks are on my butt like a cheap diaper. As I’m scribblin’ this, (just before Bristol) team Chevy has yet to make their way into Victory Lane this season. Everybody else has checked in, but no Chevys. If keeps this up, we might have to put Chevy’s picture on a milk carton to help find ‘em. And remember Cindy-the-Furd-girl that I harassed? Well, now I got her filling up my message machine, saying stuff like, “Hey, is Chevy is racing this year or not?” Dang!

We knew when last season ended that it was a freaky kinda deal. Not freaky cuz Chevy won, but freaky cuz the Fords and Dodges were so very much out to lunch. And that’s what made it such a romp. It stands to reason that if you’re on top of your game and your competition is sucking majorly, the points spread is gonna go the moon! But at the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Media Tour Hosted by Lowes Motor Speedway this past January, both Ford and Dodge came clean and admitted they done dropped their balls. Jack Roush said he made the decision for Ford and took full responsibility. The ‘Cat in the Hat’ explained how he followed NASCAR protocol and DID NOT do any extra testing on his Ford COTs and that’s what put the Fords in hibernation. He also went on to say that other teams DID do extra testing and despite NASCAR saying NO, did manage to get away with it. Yeah, he done made that part real clear.

Over on the Dodge side, those boys fessed up, too. Part of their problem was the multitude of body parts they had to weed out the past couple of years. They never did get ‘em figured out. Another big part of Mopar’s woes was the whole deal where parent Mopar was bought and sold last year. Since those embarrassing days, both Dodge and Ford ramped up their programs and, well, ya’ll see the results. In fact, if you go over to MoparMax.com, you can get the story on how the Boss of Mopar done laid a million dollar bounty on the table for the Daytona 500 winner. 

But the cream always rises to the top, and if you look at the record books, Chevy is the creamiest! That’s not to say team Chevy will have another banner year. No, the COT will see that NO brand will dominate. Plus, those pesky Toyotas are now running full song as witnessed by how strong they run and how quick they won their first race this year. Word in the garage says those Toyota motors are about 15 – 25 horse stronger than the others on the track and that might even get worse. So that means Chevy not only has Ford and Dodge to face off with but Toyota, too. It’s almost like the old days when they ran Pontiacs, Buicks, and even Oldsmobiles and Chevy had to compete against them, too. But beating them wasn’t much fun. It’s kinda like that old saying about kissing your cousin.

The good news is that the leading Chevy team--and that would be the Hendrick boys of Jimmie Johnson, Jeffy Gordon and their new teamie, Dale Jr.--is traditionally a late season comer. That means they run so-so early on but kick it into gear as the season rolls down off the gas. Now, I’m thinking they don’t do that on purpose as it’s kinda risky to try to turn it all on at the end when others may already have a good head of steam. It just turns out that those boys seem to come alive at that time. We’ll see on that deal…And the Childress boys of Harvick, Burton and Bowyer are right up there, too. They may not have their initials in the win column but they are strongly set in the top ten. We’re gonna watch them boys cuz it seems like it’s time for RCR racing to come alive. They been inching up every year so this might just be the one.

Jr’s Report Card In political deals, they wait until the new guy has been in office 100 days before they start giving him what for. In racing, you are only as good as your last finish. Not only is Dale Jr. doing well with his new team, he is the leading Chevy guy as we go to Bristol. He showed ‘em he still knows his way around Daytona and, pretty much as we said, he got himself a good intermediate car and looked mighty good at those races – especially Atlanta when he done run off at the start and stunk up that part of the race. Those fine finishes dropped his butt into the top ten with the Chevys of Harvick and Burton and I’ll bet he intends to stay in that nice part of town. You know he is just itching to win a race for his new team – and maybe nail one down before those other Hendrick pups do. Hey, Bristol would be an awful nice place to win. We can already picture him taking Bristol like his Daddy used to, bumping and a-nerfing his way around the track and driving what they are now calling the Junior Nation (whatever that is!) abso-tively nuts!!!

I have faith. I believe. The cool thing is that we Chevy folk know it’s only a matter of time. And so do those Ford and Dodge turkeys. And those Tie-Odas, too. Pretty soon, I’ll get to call Cindy-the-Ford-gurl to remind her that a Chevy done bitch-slapped those Fords – AGAIN! Maybe then she’ll leave my message machine alone.  


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